Where to begin...

This is a picture of Abraham with his dad

Buenas Tardes!  How is everyone?  This will be one eventful week...Happy Fathers Day and Congratulations Alex on your Graduation Friday.  Sorry I Can't be there, but Bien Hecho! (Well-done)  Your life sure is about to change...enjoy it :)  All is well here in New Mexico.  It has been an interesting week...I don't know quite where to begin.

The week started out a little rocky, I was down and out Tuesday with the Stomach Flu..interesting experience as a missionary.  Haven't been sick like that for a long time.  But all is well.  I bounced back enough just in time for Hermana Batchkoff's Birthday Wednesday which was also Zone Conference.  

In Zone Conference we watched an incredible talk from Elder Holland.  He talked about the story of Jesus when he appeared to Peter and his other Disciples on the Sea of Galilee. (John 21)  This story relates a lot to us.  Jesus had been killed and Peter not knowing what exactly he should do, did what he knew how to do.  He went fishing.  He and the other Disciples were out on the water all night and caught nothing.  At times in our lives we know what God has asked us to do or called us to do, but we revert back to what we know, for many reasons.  As a missionary we revert back to home or to things of our former lives that become more and more distant.  After the long night of fishing a figure appeared on the beaches of Galilee(I can just picture it) He told them to try casting there nets on the right side of the boat.  Think of what at least one of them was probably thinking if not saying..."We've been at this all night and you are telling us something so simple..."  So they took there nets and cast them on the right side and they were filled to the point they couldn't even pull them out of the water they were so filled with fish.  Peter knew who that man was.  He recognized Him as the Savior...His Savior.  "It is Him."  He jumped out of the boat to Him.  And Jesus said to Peter, " Peter do you love me more than these fish, your nets...?" "Really do you love me?"  He had to ask him 3 times.  Because Peter needed to show that he truly loved the Savior.  He had to leave behind his nets, the things he knew and become something greater that took courage, uncomfortable moments, and unconditional love and faith.  Do we SHOW Him we love Him.  Would I recognize him right away.  Would he have to ask me 3 times if I REALLY loved Him?  I hope he knows how much I love Him.  That is shown by how I live my life...not just by what I say.  

We had some interesting lessons this week.  We had contacted a woman named Rosa who about 10 years ago read the Book of Mormon and the Doctrine and Covenants.  She moved and then lost contact with the missionaries and never was baptized.  We taught her about the Restoration then came back a second time and she hadn't read or done anything we'd asked her to.  We have been working really hard lately to focus our lessons on the individual needs of each person.  To promise them blessings that will give them the desire to ACT.  To do what will ultimately change and help them.  We are simply the messengers with the tools.  We asked her simply and plainly if she wanted to come back to church...for her kids(who wanted to), for her family.  Her husband is against it, which creates a large obstacle but one that can be overcome if she has the desire.  I've seen women do it.  It is hard, but it is what their Heavenly Father would want them to do.  And for that he Loves them and blesses them.  I could see in Rosas eyes she knew what she should do.  She knew the book of mormon had changed her life when she read it, she told us that.  Here it is again in her hands...yet the obstacles in front of her have persuaded her that it isn't possible.  I remember asking Do you want to live with your family forever?  Is that something you truly want for your kids to be with you forever?  "Yes"  The tools are in front of her, but she has to choose to use them, and to work and act to make her family an eternal family.  She basically dropped us by telling us she didn't want to come back to church, but I could see in her eyes, so clearly, she knows.  As we left there was a sincere love I felt for her and I could see she had for her family and for her Savior.  In these moments there is nothing you want more than for people to just listen to their gut...that day followed with 3 more powerful lessons of investigators basically telling us they just didn't want to do it.  That can get you down as a missionary.  But I have to know I did my best, and I tried with everything I knew how to do, to help them understand what they needed to do to know it is true and it is this message of hope will help them.

Yesterday we went by Jessica's house, a woman we found in the grocery store.  She had been taught by missionaries before but also moved.  She seemed interested for us to come by sometime.  We stopped by and she invited us in.  She told us the new commercials the church has has given her this desire to start reading her Book of Mormon again.  She asked her Sister to send it to her from Mexico.  We showed her mormon.org and a mormon message about the Atonement.  We asked her to say a prayer.  She said this beautiful prayer straight from the heart then broke down in tears.  She began to explain to us that her cousin just passed away.  We reminded her of the Plan of Salvation and left her with the pamphlet to read.  Once again it was shown to me...the importance of understanding the very specific needs/pain of each one of these people we talk to.  The spirit helps us to do that.  So we can know what to do to help.  Really I am beginning to notice it always comes back to the Savior.  He is the great healer.

Abraham.  He is getting sicker and sicker.  La Familia Ramirez has practically become our family lately as we've been going by almost every day to help Abraham read his Book of Mormon and prepare to be baptized.  His whole left side of his head is filled with tumors they told us and there is nothing the doctors can do.  The poor kid, still has a smile..or cracks a joke.  As I was laying in bed all day with the stomach flu I was reminded of how small my pains are in comparison to what  Abraham is going through right now.  The Dad has left his work to be with Abraham and this is the first time in all the time we've been here I've seen fear and desperation in the eyes of Hna Ramirez.  She is so strong.  Hna Ramirez brought the other 2 little ones to church yesterday.  She is praying her heart out for a miracle and so are we.  All is in the will of God, but Cancer is one awful thing to watch...and our family has some experience with it.  This week so much of our focus in our teaching has been in the family.  In the eternal family.  It amazes me.  The hope that exists in the plan of salvation.  But still...people let little things like being offended by someone get in the way of that.  I wish I knew how to change there mind, but only God can do that.  Last night we stopped by the Ramirez family.  Janette the little 6 year old came running in screaming from a bee sting.  Abraham sat uneasily on the couch with a blanket, the kitchen was full of dirty dishes and ants, Hno Ramirez was at the pharmacy and little 9 year old Xavier was sitting at the table with his head down covering his ears.  What could we do.  Well, we are learning more and more, Heavenly Father can do so much more than we can but still we want to do everything we can.  Hna Batchkoff got to work in the kitchen, after nursing Janette to sanity....I started asking Xavier about church which got into a whole lesson about the life of Jesus Christ.  He turned into a different person with attention.  Families are everything.  They are so complex.  Everyone has its own trials, challenges, problems....but if we base our families on the teachings of the Gospel, all will be well in the end.

By the way Connor, I commited this little guy who reminds me of you except he has a mohawk..to get his family to pray EVERY night together. They aren't coming to church right now...We drove by the other day and I asked him if he'd done it...HE HAD.  Just like you have been.  Keep it up.  Kids really are such an example.  We all need to become more like them.  It is all said in the loving prayer of a little 9 year old who asks for his struggling older brother to become a better person and his other brother to get healthy.  

Yo se que somos una familia eterna y por eso estoy tan agradecida.  En realidad esta vida no es mucho tiempo pero es nuestra oportunidad para mostrar nuestro Padre Celestial que queremos vivir con El otra vez con nuestras familias.  

I love you guys so much.  I can't tell you how grateful I am to have a family that is sealed together forever.  If we each do our part we will live happier than we can even imagine.  FOREVER.  That is a blessing I can't even begin to express my gratitude for.  He lives.  His church has been restored.  Our family will be together forever if we do what He asks us to do.  Never ever forget that.  

Con todo mi amor,

Hermana Holland