Humility, Love, Faith

Hola Familia!  Buenas Tardes.  Como estan todos?  Ojala todo este bien...I am so grateful for you guys, you have no idea.  

We had a bit of a rough one.  Our little investigator Abraham passed away.  As a missionary, you experience more walks of life you ever thought possible.  Abraham was a little angel to his family.  I was in Santa Fe with Hna Jarman for the day Tuesday and on the train ride back I got a all from Hna Batchkoff...in tears...She was leaving the hospital and told me Abraham was dying.  I've been living in a slight state of shock ever since.  The branch and missionary pulled together an amazing funeral.  I've never seen this branch be there like they were there for the Ramirez Family.  It was incredible.  The funeral went really well...a few of our investigators who knew Abraham came.  It really opened my eyes to the fact that many of these people believe they will see Abraham again, but there is ambiguity that makes it difficult to be at peace.  Where exactly is he and how will I ever be able to live with him again.  What a blessing it is to know the answer to those questions.  Hno Ramirez asked Hna Batchkoff to speak and I offered to sing.  Hna Batchkoffs words were perfect, full of love and hope for the future of this family.  I sang Nearer My God to Thee in Spanish..Elder Brockbank accompanied on the guitar.  The service was really nice.  

We had taken The Ramirez family including Abraham to the temple the week before so we got the pictures printed of them in front of the temple and put them in a frame.  The day after Abraham passed away we went over...we could not focus the whole day.  I had the picture in my arm.  I went to give Hna Ramirez a hug she gasped and clasped the photo....she began to cry.  I was thinking oh no...but after was showing it to all her visitors, so proud...she said proudly, Xavier is going to be baptized.  This family has a new goal, if any missionary is going to help them become an eternal family it is Abraham.  We sat down at the kitchen table and Hno Ramirez just talked...and talked...describing his experience the night before Abraham passed away.  The missionary who taught this family a year ago is serving near by and is at the end of his mission.  He went to the hospital the night before Abraham passed away...Hno Ramirez described how he gave him a hug with more love than any other person has ever given him and said with all the sincerity he had..."sellense"  Seal your family...The hope of an eternal family is everything for them right now.  I have come to realize how incredibly important it is to know you will live with your family beyond this life.

Mientras...all we knocked on a former investigator's door one day and a Muslim woman opened the door.  There are quite a few Iraqi refugee families here. The son ran to the door because he is the only one who speaks a little english.  Oh my gosh!  My people :)  They invited us in as they always do.  The mother spoke hardly any English and we started explaining to the son who we were.  He ran to the wall above the mantle where the Koran was set on one side and grabed a blue book in Arabic that was set on the other side.  It was a Book of Mormon in English!  WOW!  First time i've seen that.  He explained the Elders were visiting them with someone who spoke Arabic.  We communicated a little with google translate to share our message with them...they then brought out soda and 2 pieces of Chocolate Cake.  I love these people.  I can't communicate with them but I just love them.  They like the Mexican culture are the ultimate example of charity.  I was wishing the whole time Tamarra was with me to talk to them..but that is the first time I saw a Book of Mormon in Arabic.  So cool.  

After the funeral Friday, Hna Batchkoff and I got in the car and didn't know if we would be able to get out.  Physically..emotionally...wasn't sure if there was anything left.  I've never felt so drained in my life.  But we knew what we had to do to forget about it so we got to work.  We stopped by Graciela's house.  She invited us in and we started talking to her and her Husband Manuel about what they had read and their questions.  We showed them the Restoration Movie and Manuel said something like, "I feel exactly like Joseph Smith felt, where is the truth"  Wow...Graciela before had mentioned before, when we were explaining the Apostasy and the authority that Jesus Christ established that was lost, that she felt that we were still lost today without that truth.  Wow...talk about searching for the truth and not knowing where to find it.  So the movie cleared that up.  This couple is so cool.  Manuel is a dentist artist so he makes como dentures...a lot of these people have missing teeth so he can fix it.  Graciela showed us...all her teeth are fake.  WOW. The things people tell you...when you've known them for an hour.  Anyways, Graciela and Manuel came to church yesterday. Wohoo!  So did the Ramirez family with their family that was in town.  The sister of Hno Ramirez came up to me after the sacrament meeting and said something like, We can't thank you enough for all you've done for this family...her lip began to quiver like she was going to cry.  Wow.  Families are everything.  Be grateful for yours.

OH..laugh of the week.  We stopped by our investigators house and his neighbor we'd talked to once was outside and we had planned to stop by and see if he had read what we left him.  A man and woman were next to him drinking with a huge box of Budlight next to them.  We started talking to them and the man and woman we didn't know suddenly got these serious, angry faces...inside I was laughing so hard, there faces were SO FUNNY.   All of a sudden the lady stands up and throws her beer bottle, which shatters everywhere... then starts beating up the man. Vente Vente (go away)..she yells at us.  Oh my goodness.  We turned around and walked away.  Swiftly.  We had a good laugh in the car.  

I've never felt so empty of advice in my life.I need advice... probably because my advice isn't what they need.  It is the Gospel of Jesus Christ that they need.  The reality is learning how to rely on the Lord.  That is what I am trying to do totally and completely.  To know how to turn these people we talk to everyday to the Lord.  They can't quite figure out why they aren't really happy.  Learning to be an effective missionary is quite the journey.  You can listen to the opinions of others, read PMG, the scriptures like crazy...the best mentor is Heavenly Father.  Learning to master communication with Him is the key.  I feel like every day I see my weaknesses more and more clearly...Im trying to learn how to let the Lord help me overcome them not let them bring me down.  One thing I've come to realize is balance is everything.  In life.  As a teacher.  As a missionary.  Teaching but also loving.  Hard to find, but makes all the difference.  I love the members here.  We've gotten so close to them, it will be hard to leave if one of us leaves next week.  

My quote of the week: "The Lord doesn't look at our ability, but our availability and by our dependability it will become a capability."~Elder Neal A. Maxwell

Humility, Love, Faith...everything that Jesus is..that is what I want to be.  Hard but oh so possible.  Only the hard things really change you.

Me siento como no hay mas para dar aveces.  Pero en realidad cuando estamos haciendo algo por nuestro Padre Celestial...lo que el quiere que hagamos, podemos hacer casi todo.  Estoy encontrando fe que nunca pense que tenia.  En realidad, se que Jesucristo esta con nosotros en todo.  Solamente necesitamos buscarle.  

Les quiero.

Hermana Holland